MY TRIP TO ISTANBUL…AND WHY I TRAVELED SOLO. September 8, 2015 My trip to Istanbul and Paris was life shifting–the kind of adventure that finds you going away as one person and in a matter of days, returning as another. It’s hard to put words to an experience that changes you so deeply because it’s not about any one specific thing that’s the cause of the shift. Really it was me, being in this body, at this time in my life, meeting those people and having those experiences. I believe that we always get what we’re ready for & what we need to help us evolve into greater beings. For me, this trip was a message and a symbol confirming, it’s time to evolve. As the plane was descending back to Atlanta, I cried. Not because I was sad to return (coming home is always a joy for me), but because….I did it. I was officially returning from the trip that at one point, I wasn’t sure I “could” go on or should invest in. Didn’t know how it would happen. But like every big shift in my life, it began with an urging to “just go”, without knowing the who, how or why. Fast forward a few months later and I know for sure that this is a life defining trip for me. It speaks a lot to where I am personally/professionally and to the shift that’s currently happening in so many areas of my life. It seemed like once I pressed “confirm” on my order, a million tiny miracles happened in a matter of weeks that are swiftly moving me towards the new goals I’ve set for myself. So this trip ended up being the perfect marker to usher in this new phase of my life. If you follow me on Instagram you know the story but here’s the short of it–I’d originally planned to go to Istanbul with a group but in the midst of my planning, it occurred to me that I should go by myself. Mostly because I was having trouble justifying the cost of the group trip. And while I know I missed the benefit of some of the group experiences, I’m 1000% sure that going alone was indeed the right move for me–and that fact had nothing to do with the money (although I spent 1/3 of what it would’ve cost me). In the end, traveling alone required me to rely on skills that I wouldn’t have had to use with a group because being in a foreign country–with a very different culture–where you don’t speak the language (and not many people speak English) requires a great degree of resourcefulness & self-reliance. Are these skills I cultivate at home? Certainly. But keep in mind it’s within the context of a country in which I was born, a city where I speak the language, a terrain I know like the back of my hand, a ton of local friends & family on speed dial if I get in a bind and a place where I have access to my own car at all times. I didn’t have the benefit of a travel guide or a friend to accompany me–I had to get things figured out on my own. And I was also in a Muslim country as a single, Black, non-Muslim, American woman traveling alone and staying in an apartment in a local neighborhood (this is key). From everyone’s reaction to me, it became clear that I was not the norm. I opted not to get an international plan on my phone so the minute I touched down I turned the cellular data off so I wouldn’t incur any unexpected charges. This meant that I the only time I could actually use my phone was when I was back in my apartment and connected to wireless. Outside of that, I was on my own. Lost?? I had to consult a map & figure it out the old school way (I hate pulling out maps when traveling–they scream “target” to me). Need to know how to say a certain word in Turkish? If I was lucky I could find someone who spoke English to translate, otherwise I had to make a note in my phone so I could Google it later. I can’t tell you how many times I had to order my meals by pointing to what I wanted & as someone who loves to ask a million questions about her food…it was quite a change! At the start of my trip I remember being embarrassed by having to continually point to things and feeling frustrated/helpless when I couldn’t communicate my needs but then I remembered, “This is the point of this trip. If you wanted to feel comfortable & at ease, you could’ve gone to London but that’s not what this destination was about.” So I kept pressing on. One of the things to note about my trip is that I wasn’t staying in a high-end hotel with a concierge at my fingertips. When I travel I like to get a feel for how the locals live so this means that I’m generally not right in the middle of tourist areas with hordes of English-speaking taxi drivers & “tourist-friendly” restaurants at my disposal. Instead, I like to stay in residential neighborhoods where real people are going about living their everyday lives. It’s exciting…but as someone who definitely stood out in the neighborhood–it can also be a bit scary. I walked a lot. I visited the major, ancient historic sites. I ate at restaurants recommended & beloved by locals. I slept in & rested whenever I wanted to. I had a twice daily informal date with the owner of my apartment as he made me tea every morning before I left and then again when I returned. We talked for hours & hours. I listened to the Islamic call to prayer sound across the city 5 times a day & took that time to meditate on my own faith. I signed up for an amazing culinary tour of Istanbul/Turkey that had me tasting everything from local spices to cow/goat/sheep cheese, Ayran (pronounced Eye-ran, a buttermilk-like yogurt drink that’s a cultural favorite), stuffed muscles, lamb intestines, goat milk ice cream, lots Turkish delight (of course!), Turkish hummus (more sesame than normal) and a TON of other tasty treats. Needless to say, I did & experienced a lot. I wish I could tell you about every single incredible thing that happened while I was away, but some of it is still so hard to describe…and as transparent as I like to be, I honestly I feel like some of it is just for me because it was so personal. Instead, I’ll just say that it was by far the best vacation of my life. As I like to do before I travel, I wrote out my intentions for my trip before I left and it’s no big surprise that every single one of them was fulfilled. I only had 4 and they were: (1) to “totally & completely relax” by being in the moment and not thinking about work, (2) to pay attention–to the sounds, the smells (!!) & the tastes (3) to eat really good, expand my palette (lamb intestines!) and not eat Paleo and (4) to meet someone new (funny how much personal stuff you can share with a stranger). It was good to look at my list when I came home and see that I indeed accomplished everything I originally set out to do. This trip renewed my confidence/trust in myself and reminded me that I can create ANYTHING I want. I believe that thoughts are creative (our lives mimic our thoughts) and this trip was a reminder of that–that asking “how” I would get to Turkey for all of those months was the wrong question. Instead, the only question I needed to ask myself was “Do you WANT to go to Turkey?” and once I acknowledged that I did, everything fell into place. I ended my trip with an enormous sense of gratitude for the life that I live and I’m so relaxed, focused and genuinely excited about the coming months. The renewed perspective alone was worth the investment. So why Istanbul? I guess my thought was, “Why not??”. It’s geographically & culturally far away and isn’t what most people think of as a single woman’s vacation destination. I didn’t want to relax on a beach, I wanted to DO something. The older I get the more I find myself interested in history and I knew my destination would have plenty to keep my attention. Istanbul captured my interest & I didn’t want it to be a place I waited to see “until I had a man” so when the opportunity arose, I took it! Why did I travel alone? Because I really wanted to. I didn’t even invite anyone else (lol). So much has happened over the last 3 (really, 10) years of my life that I wanted/needed this to be just for me. The fact that I was even ABLE to go is a sign of all that I’ve accomplished in building my business and transforming my life and I wanted to be able to reflect on all that good stuff alone. I think personal time is one of the most sacred & loving gifts we can give to ourselves. I didn’t want to discuss where “we” should eat breakfast or what “we” should do today…I just wanted to “do me”. Traveling with friends is great (did it on the Paris leg!) but I don’t think it’s any more important than traveling on your own. They’re just 2 different experiences & the one that’s right for you depends entirely on your needs. I love hanging out with friends but…I really love my alone time, too–I NEED that to recharge my batteries. So, while I was a bit nervous to venture into the unknown, I was also really excited. 3 years ago I would’t have thought a trip like this was possible. And I definitely wouldn’t have expected it to change my life. NEXT: 13 Tips on How to be a Bad-Ass International Solo Traveler. Share this: Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window) Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Click to share on Google+ (Opens in new window) Related 14 Comments on MY TRIP TO ISTANBUL…AND WHY I TRAVELED SOLO. Nikki White September 8, 2015 at 7:30 am (2 years ago) Awww lady, you continue to be such an inspiration. It’s clear this trip has been transformative and I can’t wait to see you move mountains with your new found strength and bad-ass, conquer the world attitude. Traveling alone is no easy feat but oh so essential for your soul. When I lived in NYC, once a month I would take a random subway ride with no destination in mind. I’d suspend my life for just that one day and soak in the unfamiliar places, try a new restaurant etc just to discover something new about the city, life and myself. It’s no Istanbul, but I definitely see the need to satisfy the travel needs of your soul. Thanks a million for reminding us all of that Reply DaykaRobinson September 8, 2015 at 9:18 am (2 years ago) Thank you!! I must say–just hoping on the subway in NYC with no destination COULD be like visiting a foreign country so I get it! And I love that idea so much….will have to try it next time I’m in the city. Thank you for your feedback, Nikki! Xo, D Reply Candace September 8, 2015 at 9:03 am (2 years ago) This post is so inspiring! I remember traveling alone for the first time, which was at the beginning of the year. I live in Charleston, but I wanted to visit Charlotte. I rented a car and took took the 3 hour drive by myself after working a night shift. Although it wasn’t that far away, I did it by myself it was so freeing. Not depending on anyone but yourself, not waiting on people, etc. My next adventure will be New York, California, then I’ll venture outside the country. Thanks for sharing! Reply DaykaRobinson September 8, 2015 at 9:16 am (2 years ago) Candace: Traveling ANYWHERE alone is major and so freeing. You won’t really be alone in New York (LOL) and California is SO incredible (my home state!)–you’ll have a blast! Thanks for reading & safe travels! D Reply Elise September 8, 2015 at 11:31 am (2 years ago) Oh my goodness….thank you for this post Dayka. I told you on IG I was interested in reading it as I prepare to take baby steps and do more solo traveling. I cam completely relate to the burden of sometimes planning “group”outings..and waiting until “the one” comes along. This was a great post. And I really am so much more inspired for my upcoming mini solo trip. I can’t wait to read more!!! ~E Reply DaykaRobinson September 8, 2015 at 10:54 pm (2 years ago) Elise: Thank YOU for reading! Yes, yes–your trip (not MINI, just TRIP!) will be so much fun! I’m excited to see what you do and read all about it on IG–make sure you tag me in one of your posts! And BTW, the next post will be perfect for you! 😉 Thank you for your kind words. Xo, D Reply Elvira September 8, 2015 at 12:45 pm (2 years ago) Once again, so inspiring. There was a time when I would regular go some place I’d never been before. Never internationally though. I remember hopping on the bus line in San Francisco so I could experience the city like the locals do, or taking a spontaneous drive to Sedona while out in AZ for a work conference. I remember stopping by a little roadside stand all alone on the road and just spending time with the people there. It always felt so great! The ironic thing is I stopped doing those things when I met a man and now I’m wondering why!! It truly is time to evolve! Thanks again Dayka! The change in you comes through. I am definitely inspired. Reply DaykaRobinson September 8, 2015 at 10:52 pm (2 years ago) Elvira: I’m single so I’m always reminding myself, “NOW is the time to do this stuff.” And for me, the point is not to compare it to how it will feel when I travel with my partner, because each situation is different and comes with it’s different advantages. Like traveling with a friend–they both enrich you in different ways. I think it’s so important that we hold onto the things we dearly love when in relationship because that helps us bring more of OURSELVES to the table. Here’s to many more solo outing for you in the near future! Thank you for taking the time to comment and your kind words–I appreciate it! Xo, D Reply Denetra September 8, 2015 at 10:51 pm (2 years ago) I absolutely love this!!! I’m living vicariously through you, your career and your many adventures!! I’ve followed you for years and I tend to go back to your post when you travelled to New York alone! This coming year will be a major milestone birthday for me and I’m seriously considering a trip…by myself. I went to New York after your post. Will it be Istanbul, I don’t know, but it will be away from Dallas!! Thanks so much for sharing!! Your post here and on Instagram makes me stretch my thoughts!! Reply DaykaRobinson September 8, 2015 at 10:58 pm (2 years ago) Denetra: THANK YOU!! And thank you for following me all of these years….you have seen the change firsthand! 😉 I was just thinking about that trip to NYC earlier today and I was thinking about how I felt when I was there and how/why these 2 trips were so different. NYC was about reclaiming that city and creating new memories while Istanbul was truly about “expansion”. I love that you went to NY!! And yes–go somewhere by yourself to celebrate this upcoming year, even if it’s not right on your birthday (thought that’s a great time for reflection!). Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to leave a comment–I means a lot, truly. Looking forward to hearing about that trip (please tag me!). Xo, D Reply Cindy Espinoza September 14, 2015 at 3:44 pm (2 years ago) Congratulations Dayka! There is nothing that builds confidence like traveling sola! And the way you did it (without a group) is the BEST way! making your own schedule (or lack there of) and just letting the days go wheverever they may take you will result in the most fullfilling and memorable experiences. I worked for Delta (here in Atlanta) for 10 years and took full advantage of seeing the world….i was not a flight attnedant but took many trips on my own (even being married). It IS hard to describe, like you said, but it does something to you that is very special! Reply DaykaRobinson September 14, 2015 at 8:39 pm (2 years ago) Cindy- You took the words right out of my mouth–it’s the combination of confidence building & the MAKING YOUR OWN SCHEDULE (had to put that in caps since that’s one of the things I love about my life)!!! I wanted to be a flight attendant in my 20s for a long time but didn’t because my mom was against it. Now I see how many possibilities are really out there….I would’ve made a fantastic travel blogger (and it’s not too late, lol)! I’m already thinking about my next trip–Vietnam, Indonesia, Thailand….I’m ready to go! Xo, D Reply Timisha December 9, 2015 at 12:18 pm (2 years ago) I say kudos to you! I traveled to Istanbul solo 2 years ago and while I enjoyed the city, I would not do it alone again. Unlike in Latin American countries where I’ve traveled solo, the men in Istanbul didn’t just make comments as I walked, but touched me. I was propositioned every 5 steps in that city. They definitively view women, particularly women of color in a different way. Reply DaykaRobinson December 14, 2015 at 9:21 pm (2 years ago) Timisha: I’m sorry to hear that your experience was so different than mine! In all fairness, I did have 2 men slap my butt the first day I got there (which scared the hell out of me), but I just remembered that it’s not like this kinds stuff doesn’t happen in the US, because it does…daily. It’s just that I speak the language here and “look” like a local and have my own transportation and friends I can call, etc. It was a bit frightening, but I couldn’t allow that experience (and a few more) to color my entire trip. I love meeting another brave & bold solo traveler and I wish you all the best on your continued journeys! Best, Dayka Reply Leave a Reply Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *Comment *Name* Email * Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email.