THE REAL DEAL MONEY TALK. June 2, 2017 I could be making more money. I SHOULD be making more money. The truth is that there are things that I KNOW that I know, and I have no doubt that my areas of expertise could be an immense help to so many people. I am a thinker at heart and I’m always reframing experiences, words & ideas. I have ideas for hosting seminars and retreats and writing books and making jewelry and designing shirts and building authentic communities where people really EXPERIENCE one another…..but few of those ideas have actually gotten beyond the door of my office. Because for as much as you SEE me do…there’s triple the amount of things I don’t do. And I have a lot of very “rational”, “logical” reasons for this, of course. The standard lies we tend to tell ourselves when we get scared & decide that tapping out would be easier than doing the work. The idea isn’t ready yet. It’s not a good time for this. I’m not ready. I’m waiting on ____ to help me with _____. I don’t know how to do it. (<<–my all time favorite) But these, my friends, are lies. And because I’ve been telling lies, my income isn’t doing what it could be doing. It’s not doing what it SHOULD be doing. And in case you were wondering, apparently there IS in fact a direct correlation between telling lies & making money. Just FYI. Monday I had an early morning, major breakthrough about my work, my business and what’s actually holding me back. I wasn’t even consciously thinking about it but the revelation showed up anyway: I’m afraid that making more money will require me to live a life that I don’t want. That more money will demand I become drastically more entangled & stressed in the everydayness of life, and that I might end up with so much responsibility that I feel like I’m suffocating. And suffocating is a big fear of mine. In work and in my relationships, I’m afraid of feeling like there’s not enough space for me to be me. Like I will be drowned. Because after growing up constantly feeling and being told that who I was, what I looked like & how I spoke was “too black/white”, “too much” or “too grown”, I’ve evolved into a woman who’s very protective her essence. I may not have had a choice as a child, but I certainly have one now. And I exercise it. But stepping into the kind of success I imagine for myself means I’m going to have a lot more things going on. And I never knew, until this week, that somewhere deep down, the idea of “a lot more things going on” makes me feel like I may not be able to be ME. Now I understand why I’ve been both pulling close & pushing away the very things that I want most. This is a huge ah-ha in my world. I know several people who make anywhere from multiple six to multiple seven figure incomes and when I look at their lives, I don’t see anything that I want. I don’t believe in being stressed out, over committed, sick, exhausted all the time or endlessly complaining. Yet I see a lot of this in them. And it’s a major turnoff for me. I somehow started equating more projects & more financial abundance with what they have: Stress. And it’s made me recoil. And I get that this may sound a bit odd to you but I think it’s important to tell the truth about how we feel, no matter how it may sound to others. So I am. My truth is that I’m afraid of being trapped with too much responsibility in a life I fundamentally don’t want. Because I actually love how I live now….I just want MORE. So I’ve been unpacking this idea all week, and I’ve come up with a ton of ideas & thoughts and my work. Things I’ll tell you more about in another post. But here’s what I know for now: That it’s time to really get to work. To do what I could & should be doing. The reality is that I love money. Not for what it can buy, but for who it helps me to become & how it helps me show up in the world. So I’m not serving myself–or anyone else–by avoiding a life of greater abundance. That’s Bible. It actually is NOT easier to avoid doing the work. If there’s a chance I’m gonna be “suffocated” by doing the work or “suffocated” by not getting the work out/being able to live the kind of life I want then….I’d rather take the chance and create art. And to move forward trusting that the road will be paved along the way. So I am. And if any of this resonates with you, please leave a comment or drop me an email. I’d love to hear from you. **Also, I’ve not only dropped the price on my 18 page Design Proposal & Terms by 51-ish% (the one that I use with all of my design clients!) but I’ve also made it into a word document which makes it easier for you to adapt for personal use. If you’re a design professional/aspiring professional or student, you WANT to have this. Click here to see more details.** Share this: Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window) Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Click to share on Google+ (Opens in new window) Related 13 Comments on THE REAL DEAL MONEY TALK. Naisha June 2, 2017 at 6:54 am (1 year ago) this teared me up. I could and should be but I’m so afraid at times (a lot) of times and will get to putting something out then scarp it. I just had an aha moment reading this. I’m scared to manage more money based off of debt, financial issues from my past when I didn’t have what I have now. Thank you for sharing this. Reply DaykaRobinson June 2, 2017 at 5:40 pm (1 year ago) Old stories!!! They get us every time, right? So funny that as humans, when we don’t have a frame of reference for what’s to come, we search our brains for the closest possible situation, even if it’s one of failure. And then we hang onto it for dear life. I think the most important piece is AWARENESS, though. Just knowing that you know better–and being able to acknowledge that–is the first step to changing anything. Reply Roxy June 2, 2017 at 5:26 pm (1 year ago) Is this a 40 thing? This has been the convo in my head for the past couple months. I’ve left SOOOO much money on the table in fear of the “start up stress”. Now I will be operating two businesses at once (lost count of the ones that didn’t quite make it lol) and that is my fear. Not wanting to do the rat race. Grabbing fast food and barely sleeping. I’ve found a groove that I love and allows me to flow but mama needs more coins LOL. Have to trust that I now have the tools to do it in balance. Reply DaykaRobinson June 2, 2017 at 5:37 pm (1 year ago) I hope it’s not a 40 thing because I’m only 38 and I plan to rectify this craziness this year! So maybe it’s just a “every entrepreneur goes through this in their life” kinda thing, lol. I’m still processing but I’ve realized the most important thing is just to keep moving. I think the action alone causes things to move… Reply Cris Angsten June 2, 2017 at 10:16 pm (1 year ago) OK. I can relate to this. I haven’t sent some AWESOME PROJECTS to magazines because I don’t want my life to change. I don’t want the added stress. I want to be able to take time to enjoy my garden, to dry the herbs, and throw the ball for my spoiled dog (and pet the other at the same time. I’ve been through some stressful, “successful” times where I worked well over 100 hours per week, getting 3-4 hours of sleep a night and being horribly stressed out. Yes I made 6 figures one year. No, I wasn’t happy. So for now, I focus on Oakleaf, and just a few design clients. I’m throwing the ball for Zoe and thinking what my ideal life looks like. Yes, I am leaving money on the table. A lot of money. I know a lot about a LOT of things. I’m a multipotentialite, a Dragon, a Scorpio, a blackbelt, a successful interior designer, an accomplished marketer, backyard herbalist, gardener, home chef, wife, dogmommy, artist in multiple mediums, multilingualist… but life is only SO LONG (or so short) and what do I REALLY want? You are correct, action alone makes things move. Also, when you decide to move, when you decide what you want, the doors open. Things happen. I know those doors will open for you, the right doors. You’re the bomb-diggety, Dayka! (((hugs))) Reply DaykaRobinson June 6, 2017 at 3:05 pm (1 year ago) Cris: I love everything that you said you are (especially the backyard herbalist, blackbelt & multilingualist)!!!!! It sounds like you already KNOW what you want and are doing it–I remember when you started your restaurant project, too (my how time flies)! I don’t think the answer is NOT making more money…I just think, as I said in another comment, that we have to really get clear on the stories we’re telling ourselves about what it MEANS to make more money. That’s where our (or at least my) work really is. Thanks, boo. xo Reply Makeda Sylvester June 5, 2017 at 12:54 pm (1 year ago) Hi Dayka. You are so amazing. Wonder how you do all you do….but to stay on this conversation….I could be making more money also and its so stressful ( but rewarding) following your unique path and not the obvious one. Reply DaykaRobinson June 6, 2017 at 2:53 pm (1 year ago) Thanks, Makeda! I guess it feels a bit easier because I’ve learned over the years to stay in my lane & do what comes easiest to me. 99% of the time, if I’m having a hard time/super stressed it’s only because I’m, as I like to say, out of alignment. As I’ve realized, the MAKING MONEY in & of itself is not stressful but our THOUGHTS about making money are what make us stressed. And once we get THAT together, everything else will come! Reply Chrishon Sims June 5, 2017 at 9:51 pm (1 year ago) Oh my word. You are speaking from my soul. Great post. Reply DaykaRobinson June 6, 2017 at 2:42 pm (1 year ago) Chrishon: “Oh my word” is one of my favorite phrases, because it reminds me of one of my favorite authors (Rob Bell) who says it all of the time! Lol, and thank you . 😉 Reply N'neka January 14, 2018 at 12:20 am (5 months ago) I love this post and all the replies. Confirmation, I’m on the right journey. I left money on the table as well, in exchange for more time to spend with my daughter and attend college full time and during the day. I am trusting God to open doors so that I can maintain this new lifestyle, I am applying for scholarships right now! I am seeking the simplicity in life as well. I’ve had several hot cups of tea, journal time. Taking my time in all things. Decluttering. I ABSOULETLY love how you respect and protect your essence. We have to Honor ourselves, and as we grow, and know better, we do better. Your blog is refreshing. Reply DaykaRobinson January 14, 2018 at 9:30 pm (5 months ago) N’neka: money is a wonderful tool, no doubt–but there are some things that money can NEVER take the place of. Quality time with family is one of them! Follow your gut for sure…I really do believe our bodies tell us exactly what to do, when we tune into them. Thank you for your kind words & good luck with school–I’m sure everything will fall into place. 😉 xo, d Reply N'neka January 14, 2018 at 12:23 am (5 months ago) I forgot to mention I am out of my comfort zone!! Reply Leave a Reply Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *Comment *Name* Email * Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email.