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REAL ONES.

They say that making friends is harder as you get older but I don’t buy into that theory.

I say that the more you grow into YOURSELF–and commit to pursuing activities/groups/places you really lovethe more you attract similar people who genuinely love the same things you do. 

I think it only gets hard when, somewhere along the way, you stop going after the things that set your soul on fire. 

Now I will say this: I definitely see a difference in the QUANTITY of friends I have now, versus when I was younger. Back then there were more people to club with, gossip with, shop with, hang out with. I was young(er) & on my own for the first time–clear across the country–so all I really wanted to be was “grown”. I wasn’t looking for anything except to finally fit in somewhere and to know that I belonged…and I’m sure you can guess how that story goes….

But there was also a difference in the QUALITY of people I had back then, too. These days, everyone I’m close to is someone I met effortlessly while being 100% myselfthe Dayka with the witty, sarcastic sense of humor, who asks a bunch of questions, loves curse words & has a naughty habit of interrupting people when she gets excited about a good conversation. We are held together by a strong core belief that God is always conspiring in our favor, even–and especially–when it doesn’t look like it, and we constantly affirm this for one another.

We speak of crystals…and energy fields…and oracle cards…and possibility…and Grace (and we hit on the ratchet stuff, too!). The width of the crew may be smaller these days but the depth is the deepest I’ve had yet. I know I’ve got some amazing friends but the truth is….they are all just reflections of me.Because you can only attract who you are. 

One of the best things you can do for yourself is to create a kindred tribe of friends because your success, however you define that word, is absolutely tied to it. I’m not talking about the “good time” people who are always down to turn up at a moment’s notice–instead I’m talking about the kinda friends who will gladly “hold space” for you when you can’t do it for yourself. The kind of friends who really, really like you just as you are right now. The ones you can send a text saying “Do you have a minute to encourage me?” and your message will barely hit their inbox before they’re dialing your number seconds later (I know ’cause I just sent this text last week!).

And you know how you meet these kinda people? By telling the truth about who you are. Because when you lead with the truth about who you are it becomes a lot easier for your life follow suit. You start going to events that truly interest you, whether that’s a quilting conference (hey Ari!), a private gemstone sale or a night at the symphony. You’re more likely to get on a site like Meetup.com to find interesting new social groups or to buy a ticket to hear your favorite author speak out of state…even if that means you have to go alone. You start intentionally doing the shit that interests you for no reason other than the fact that you like it. And because that kind of behavior is energetically attractive (you know, the whole taking responsibility for you own happiness thing), other people will see you and say, “You know, I have this friend I think you should meet…” and you start getting connected to other amazing people with little to no effort on your part. 

All because you’re honest about who are. 

Don’t fall into the hype that creating genuine relationships is hard. Don’t hang around people who want you to join them in complaining about how awful life is, how fucked up men/women are or who folks who love to lament how things are “never gonna change”. Don’t hang around people who always talk about how “broke” they are, who never take personal responsibility for their behavior or people who can’t be grateful for the good stuff even when it’s right in front of their face. I could give you a laundry list of reasons why you shouldn’t hang around these people but here’s the most important one: what they’re saying simply isn’t true. 

You’re only as good as the people you allow to share & speak into your life. Get you some friends (yes, “get you”) who will lift you up, encourage you, support you…fill your squad with people whom you ADMIRE. If you don’t have friends who will speak LIFE into you…make that a priority in 2017. The people you attract in life are just a reflection of YOU. If you don’t like the company you keep, well then…the first place to start is in the mirror.

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