I’M COMING CLEAN: THE TRUTH ABOUT MY WORK. July 28, 2016 I’ve been hiding something I need to be honest about. For the past 10 months I haven’t really been telling the full, unadulterated truth. Partly because I thought I needed to ease myself into it. Partly because I was waiting for more answers. Mostly because it’s another turning point in my life…and turning points can feel scary. It’s just so much easier to keep going forward when you think you know exactly what the road ahead holds. But of course, that’s some straight up bullshit ’cause we NEVER really know about the journey ahead with absolute certainty. And now I’ve come to the point where the thought of staying still right where I am is more uncomfortable than the thought of just saying what needs to be said. So here’s my truth: I love interior design. I believe the real impact of design is much deeper than beautiful drapery & rich pillows & imported rugs & handmade tiles…but I love those aspects of it too. I love how it feels to create spaces that make people say, “This is exactly what I wanted, I just didn’t know how to tell you.” I love that I’ve made a space for myself out of thin air. I didn’t fill someone’s job description and what I’m doing–who I am + HOW I’m doing it–-didn’t exist until I was born. I’m pretty damn proud of that. Hear me again: MY BUSINESS LITERALLY DIDN’T EXIST UNTIL I CREATED IT. I love that I’ve been able to make a name for myself as a designer–that people have found value in the service I provide and that I’ve created work I can take pride in. I’ve designed amazing things with great companies and been exposed to some opportunities that I never, ever imagined myself having. I like design a lot. I’ll even say that I love design. But I’m not obsessed with it. I don’t think about the blind spots to my design approach while I’m driving around. I don’t obsessively read every design book by every famous designer that’s ever been published because I don’t even own most of them. Matter of fact, I really couldn’t care less. My design magazines come in the mail and pile up for months because I don’t immediately devour them to make style notebooks like I used to in the early days. I no longer aim to fill my calendar with every single design event in Atlanta. I don’t stay in the know on all of the design blogger news and professional industry “scuttlebutt”. Something indeed, has shifted. I like design. I even love design. But I’m just not there anymore. I’ve grown. I know without a doubt that my greatest work is the work that is yet ahead of me–the work that’s been waiting ever so patiently to be created. It revolves around Personal Empowerment, Personal Responsibility, Honesty, Authenticity and specifically, the Empowerment of Women (it’s some serious work–it needs to be capitalized). I think about it all of the time. I read about it all of the time. I talk about it all of the time. (if you’ve ever had more than a 30 minute conversation with me, you can vouch for this!) I write about it. I post on social media about it. I unpack it endlessly with my closest friends. We could be talking about a combination of your medical history, a 1964 Mustang, the weather in Istanbul & the benefits of Kale as a super green and I promise you–somehow, someway, I will bring that conversation back to Personal Empowerment. It’s just how my mind makes sense of the world. Telling the truth. Owning your own shit. Self care. Making empowering decisions. Personal responsibility. THESE are the things I want to spend my life working on. I want to speak to groups, conferences & students to remind them that Personal Power is a Personal Job. Coach women on uncovering & staying in alignment with their deepest values. Write books on how & the why. Host retreats for women fostering authentic connections & empowered living. Author articles. And boldly explore the corners of this world both on my own & with groups of courageous women. Annnnnndddddd….you know what?? I want to design some beautiful spaces here & there, too. A few super cool projects every year for wonderful, bad ass clients with great budgets who love me, love my approach and TRUST me to do my thing. Wait–did you expect me to say I was quitting design?? No–that’s not exactly where I was going with this. It’s more about being radically honest with myself AND with you. And to serve as your personal reminder that life WILL change…and when it does it’s so much easier to go where it is taking you than to fight against it. Nine times out of ten it will lead you to the place you most want to be anyhow, you just don’t know it in this moment. So just relax & go with the flow. Trust me on this. Yes, I still want to take on some design projects, but I’m looking for the RIGHT people and the RIGHT projects. Cool projects, good budgets, funny, fun, quirky, interesting people…the kind of folks that carry their own pixie dust and know it. The kind I wrote about in this post. And since I’m being so honest, let me just keep it 1000: It takes courage to turn business away when a glance at your bank statement reminds you that the easy way out is to betray yourself & just take the money anyway. It’s one thing to talk about taking a stand for yourself & ONLY doing work you really love with people you really want to work with but….actually doing it?? This is a completely different ballgame, my friends. It’s scary and empowering. Crazy and commendable. The kinda work that will put a bit of hair on your chest. There’s no husband, partner, or sugar daddy over here to share the load–just me by myself (and God!) doing the very best I can to make it happen. Every.single.day. Me & my ballsy self. Getting clear about your values, about who you are and then living in a way that conveys personal integrity is at the very core of sharing this publicly. Showing up for MYSELF. Making sure that who I ACTUALLY AM and who I SAY I AM are the exact same woman. This is some boss work, my friends, and while it may not be for everybody….. IT IS FOR ME. THIS IS MY JOURNEY. So here’s what I’m looking for: If you’re in need of design services–residential design, commercial design or brand — you’ve got a few dollars to spend and *you’re super cool, I’d love to hear from you. It could be a small project, a big project, a production project–but it must be interesting. Let’s do something bold and have fun! You should be ready & willing to hire a designer and most importantly, you should want to work with ME, specifically. If you fit the bill, send me an email at email@example.com or leave your info below and let’s see how we can create magic together. If you are a woman who could use a little bit of my Personal Empowerment pixie dust–who’s ready to evolve to the next level but isn’t quite sure how to do it, who knows you’ve got some blind spots & you’re ready face them head on, I’d LOVE to hear from you. I’d love to work with you and help you learn how to empower YOURSELF in a way that feels right for you. No more stories about him. About her. About what happened. About why it sucked. About why the business isn’t working. About why you can’t do whatever it is that you know you’re supposed to be doing right now. Just you—right where you are, right here & right now—and me together, working together to move you forward into who you KNOW you’re destined to be. If I’m talking to you, please drop me a line. Or if you’re comfortable, leave your info below & I’ll send you an email. I would LOVE to work with you. L.O.V.E. And if you’re not sure that I’m talking to you, here’s how to know: if you’re reading this and getting a tingle then yeah, I’m talking to you. When you know that you know, you KNOW. In the meantime, thank you for your support. For reading my words & sharing them with your friends, for hiring me to design your most intimate spaces & for always, aways ALWAYS cheering me on. It means more than I could ever adequately express. Trust me when I say this is only the beginning. **And FYI, you cannot vouch for your own cool factor–someone must have actually TOLD YOU that you were cool. Folk need to be vetted!! 😉 ** Share this: Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window) Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Click to share on Google+ (Opens in new window) Related 27 Comments on I’M COMING CLEAN: THE TRUTH ABOUT MY WORK. Jennifer July 28, 2016 at 7:10 am (1 year ago) Love, love, love this! It’s time boo!! Reply DaykaRobinson July 28, 2016 at 1:53 pm (1 year ago) Jennifer: I really need some emojis for you but since I don’t have them on my laptop, I’ll just say “thanks”. The time has COME! xo Reply Justin July 28, 2016 at 7:39 am (1 year ago) You are cool, and bold, and growing into the perfect you. Success is not a destination but a journey, and I am glad you see the path to your next most fulfilled joyful (busy) life. I will always cheer for you. Reply DaykaRobinson July 28, 2016 at 1:52 pm (1 year ago) Justin Broussard (I’ve always loved your last name)!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you–I’m joyful & fulfilled indeed. And thank you for your support…it means everything. Hope to see you in October! xo, d. Reply amanda July 28, 2016 at 9:13 am (1 year ago) Dayka Hahah, first and foremost you know I Love you girl. You and I have known each other a long time. I still remember reaching out to YOU to get advice on furniture. But oh how I resonate with you. Such interesting times we are in. My team and I, our firm has literally gone through this SAME EXACT TRANSITION. Parallel lives indeed. We like design but we know there is something more. Living with strong intention makes the vanity metric of design seem shallow. There has to be more. And like you, we refuse to work with people who are tyrants, demanding, picky or just downright asses. This thing, this path we are on is so much bigger. And its why I have invested 6 years into becoming a Master Feng Shui practitioner. And I still have five more years of school before I am considered a “master.” But that to me feels good. It feels right. It enriches my life in a way that design no longer does…..and with that I am incredibly grateful. This next chapter is going to be undoubtably amazing!! FYI- I want you on my podcast YESTERDAY!!! Lets do this! Reply DaykaRobinson July 28, 2016 at 1:50 pm (1 year ago) Amanda: Man–our friendship reminds me of how much I’ve evolved….I met you in the very beginning and as you know, I’ve loved watching you let go of all of the things that we’re for you to move closer to what you knew was right. You have always been BOLD and honest–two things I definitely resonate with! My sister encouraged me to get me into Fen Shui for awhile and while I love the principles, I knew that it was still pushing away the work that I REALLY wanted to be doing. I have a quote on my office & bedroom wall by Steve Jobs that reads: “Remembering you are going to die is the best way to avoid thinking that you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.” I was like “you know what? He is RIGHT.” And here I am. 😉 Love you, friend. xo, d Reply Sandra Hearn July 28, 2016 at 10:28 am (1 year ago) Girl I tingled!! I’m not sure about what I want to do now that the twins are leaving for school. I have been at my job for 7 years now and I hate it. I’m just not happy and all my life it’s been me taking care of my kids now that they are becoming adults I’m lost. Its always been about them..never me.. I tried Real Estate and that wasn’t a passion..I love to cook and bake but that’s only because I had too. My happy place were my kids now I’m totally lost like wow I’m just really realizing that I have no other passion really. It was taking care of them that’s it.. Reply DaykaRobinson July 28, 2016 at 1:42 pm (1 year ago) Hey Sandra! It’s so funny….we talk about “being free” and what we’d do if we could do anything and then when we get the chance it’s like, “Damn–the freedom I was craving comes with a different level of accountability than I’d imagined!”. I totally get it, because I’ve been there. Let’s definitely talk! I’ll send you an email. 😉 Reply BessieAkuba July 28, 2016 at 7:10 pm (1 year ago) You fuckin rock, Dayka. Your boldness and determination to live truthfully inspires me and it is contagious. I’m standing in the gap. The wind to your sail. Thank you. And I can honestly say that NONE of this surprises me. Love u. Reply DaykaRobinson July 28, 2016 at 9:18 pm (1 year ago) Girl I JUSTTTTTTTTT messaged someone else about “standing in the gap” earlier–I love that phrase! Thank YOU for your support and for picking me up and treating me to Outback when I’m in DC!! 😉 Love you! Reply Sy July 28, 2016 at 8:47 pm (1 year ago) I love you Reply DaykaRobinson July 28, 2016 at 9:17 pm (1 year ago) I love you too, Sy. (NOW will you tell me where you got that bomb-ass “Likers Gonna Like” shirt??? Lol) Reply Jenny July 28, 2016 at 8:48 pm (1 year ago) I just love you Dayka Hanks. I know that you will be amazing at anything you set your mind to. Reply DaykaRobinson July 28, 2016 at 9:15 pm (1 year ago) Sister Wife!!! I love you too and am so happy for/proud of YOU!!!! Thank you! Hope to be back around your way before the weather turns cold. Lunch at House of Kebab on me!!! xo Reply Julie Holloway July 29, 2016 at 2:35 am (1 year ago) Seriously, may I come take you to lunch? You are my hero and to say I’m proud of you in an understatement. When you asked a while ago, “why do you follow me?” I never answered because I need a lunch (or longer) to share why. Love, Julie Reply DaykaRobinson August 1, 2016 at 12:01 am (1 year ago) Julie: Yes!! Let’s do lunch! I’ll reach out to you this week. Xo Reply Tamu August 5, 2016 at 1:51 pm (1 year ago) I so needed to read this right now. I love interior design so much that when I walk into any room I instantly rearrange it in my mind. I’m sitting in a park with a lot on my mind about my life and reading this made me smile. Thank you for writing this I wish you knew how inspiring this is. Reply DaykaRobinson August 5, 2016 at 7:28 pm (1 year ago) Tamu: I knew how deeply I felt about every single word I wrote and because of that, I knew it would connect with other people out there as well. Take a deep breath and remember that all is WELL, truly! Even when it doesn’t look like it, that’s what I deeply believe. Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment–I appreciate it! xo, d Reply Kwandra Lee August 16, 2016 at 5:53 pm (1 year ago) Good evening, Honestly just reading that little but fulfilling information above this is what I need! I need Empowerment!!!! I know I can do great things but I just don’t know how to get there or start. I reached out to a friend on Instagram @nubiinteriors and she told me to read your blog! I wanna hear from you! I want to be great! And honestly I just want to be happy! Reply DaykaRobinson August 18, 2016 at 10:02 pm (1 year ago) Hi Kwandra: Sending you an email in the morning my dear! Xo, d Reply Kwandra Lee August 19, 2016 at 12:38 pm (1 year ago) Looking forward to it 🙂 Reply Rosana September 15, 2016 at 11:07 pm (1 year ago) I think you were talking to me. I’m not shy or embarrassed to say that. So many women are afraid to step in their truth. I’m not. everything I desire is right at my fingertips, but it all just seems to slip away right before I can grasp it. a little empowerment might help me hold tight to it next time around. thank you Dayka for sharing your truth because it will help so many of us find ours. Reply DaykaRobinson September 18, 2016 at 11:33 am (1 year ago) Hey Rosana: That’s always my goal–heal myself so that others may also discover their healing in the process. Thanks for reading this and taking the time to comment! xo Reply Kay Renee Brooks September 30, 2016 at 10:12 pm (1 year ago) I was continuously smiling and reading, thinking WOW! How awesome it is to read this Always admired you and your work! Reply DaykaRobinson November 9, 2016 at 9:34 pm (12 months ago) Aww–thank you! That means a lot. xo Reply Toya June 6, 2017 at 2:35 pm (5 months ago) Hi Dayka! I’ve been going through and reading your blogs and my oh my how awe inspiring!!! I’d love the opportunity to speak with you further about me, who I am and what I’m seeking. I’d also like some of your advice because it seems we’re similar in so many ways. Looking to hear from you soon! Reply DaykaRobinson June 6, 2017 at 2:41 pm (5 months ago) Hey Toya– Thank you! Will send you an email shortly! Reply Leave a Reply Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *Comment *Name* Email * Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email.