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TGIF: LOSS & COPING

My father unexpectedly died less than two months after this photo was taken, the day before my birthday. Of course, if I would’ve known with certainty what was to come I would’ve taken more photos, asked a few more questions, & shared one last NYC hot dog with onions (our favorite),  but somewhere–deep inside, I think my spirit  knew that that end was near.
5 years later, I’m still so grateful that we were in a good place and no stone was left unturned. He always talked to me about how he didn’t want to suffer in death/illness, so it makes me happy to know that in the end, he went the way he wanted to go which was totally fitting of his personality. But as a loved left to deal with the loss, grief can become quite the peculiar companion. I always correct people when they say it gets better over time because that’s just not the truth–it never gets better. You’ll never get over it & the pain will never go away…but the passing of time does allow you to develop ways to handle it better, so each time you think about your loved one you don’t have to drop everything and retreat back to bed (like in the early days). 
I woke up today with my father on my mind and thought of this quote I found on Pinterest
I’m grateful to have had him as a father so today, I’m thankful for (and thinking of) my dad, Dr. Bennett Robinson.
Hope you guys have a great weekend! 

11 Comments on TGIF: LOSS & COPING

  1. pve design
    October 12, 2012 at 7:32 am (5 years ago)

    Dayka,
    How wonderful that you and your Father had a great connection and that you still feel that special bond with gratitude. He must be shining down on you.
    pve

    Reply
  2. Design Esquire
    October 12, 2012 at 8:27 am (5 years ago)

    Your post touched me. Thank you for sharing your story and including that quote. My father died two days after my birthday 16 years ago last week, and I agree with you that the pain never goes away, you just learn to deal with it a bit better. As you said, I am just so thankful to have had my dad in my life. My thoughts go out to you as this weighs on you. I hope you have a great weekend. Christine

    Reply
  3. Amanda
    October 12, 2012 at 9:15 am (5 years ago)

    oh Dayka I can totally relate to what you are going through –this Nov 11th will mark the 5 year anniversary of my fathers death. He too passed away suddenly – we had JUST celebrated his 57th Birthday 7 days prior to his death and were completely unaware of what was to come. We did however take tons of photos at his party (which is unusual for our family) looking back we know that God knew we would need and cherish those photos! Hugs to you dear friend!!!

    Reply
  4. jennbunny
    October 12, 2012 at 9:30 am (5 years ago)

    Love you, and I admire your strength! A strong woman is unstoppable, and you’re a great example of this. I’m sure your dad is smiling down on this wonderful post you shared with all of us and is gleaming with pride!

    Reply
  5. Tonia B.
    October 12, 2012 at 9:34 am (5 years ago)

    We know death is always difficult yet its part of life. Just remember all the beautiful times you had with your father and maybe that will ease the pain a bit.

    Reply
  6. ElleX
    October 12, 2012 at 8:18 pm (5 years ago)

    Your post touched my heart.

    Reply
  7. sarah.
    October 14, 2012 at 2:45 pm (5 years ago)

    “Peculiar companion” is a fitting description. Your perspective is comforting to me.

    Reply
  8. Kim@Chattafabulous
    October 14, 2012 at 7:02 pm (5 years ago)

    I’m so sorry for your loss Dayka. I still have both of my parents and just the thought of losing them brings me to tears. He is still with you in so many ways.

    Reply
  9. Niki McNeill
    October 15, 2012 at 8:31 pm (5 years ago)

    I am a true Daddy’s girl and I sometimes have moments where the thought of living without him one day crosses my mind and I get a little bit of anxiety about it. In those moments I just take a moment to thank God for the time I do have. It is such a blessing that you were able to have an amazing dad, and that his life still lives on through you!

    I’m glad I can remind you a bit of him, even if it’s just a smell. Love ya! πŸ™‚

    Reply
  10. Carmeon
    October 15, 2012 at 11:00 pm (5 years ago)

    Thank you so much for this, Dayka. I lost my mother to breast cancer last year so I understand more than you know. And you’re exactly right, the pain doesn’t go away; we just find different ways to cope. The hole in my heart can not be filled, but the thought of my mother’s smile makes a wonderful band-aid. πŸ˜‰ I pray for your peace.

    Reply
  11. SHERRY HART
    October 27, 2012 at 11:53 am (5 years ago)

    I can relate…losing my father when I was 40 to a heart attack. It was devastating for sure and you never get over it. But now I can smile when I think of him and I still have all of the memories. Love the picture πŸ™‚

    Reply

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